Seriously, it would be nice if things slowed down a bit. 🙂 So, of course, as I should have expected, my boyfriend is now my fiance much, much sooner than I anticipated. I thought for sure he would wait a little while longer, but it turns out he’s been waiting since early May. It’s very, very strange to say that I am down to my last 100 days as a bachelorette.
The trip to Destin that started this path was wonderful and quirky and frustrating. It rained the entire time, save for a few moments where we could play some mini golf or walk along the beach. The drive to and from there took entirely too long, and there were a lot of very exasperating moments. But it has all been worth it. The millions of texts and e-mails soliciting wedding advice, assistance… Practicing signing my new name…The constant Facebook updates, and my loyal friends who like every post, just because it’s something even remotely related to the wedding or to my relationship.
Strange how the travel agent and the event planner burst out of me during times like these. I’ve managed to come up with a lot of wedding stuff in a very short time. Somehow, though, the enjoyment level is waning. I’m hoping after tomorrow, I can not think about weddings for at least a few days. I wonder if that’s possible. I do know that after these past several days, the planning is becoming stressful, and I know it’s time to pause.
Since our engagement, I’ve definitely started to settle into our relationship. I’m beginning to understand his vocal and facial cues, know what to say to him, how to express my feelings. However, wedding planning has done nothing but made this process a lot more difficult. I’m constantly waiting on someone to call…constantly thinking about the next step…
How come he doesn’t care that we need at least two more sets of linens?
Shouldn’t he be excited I’m picking one of his favorite colors?
Why won’t he listen to me when I say we need to get (*insert wedding task here*) done now?
Why these ridiculous thoughts have crossed my mind is beyond me, as they came from the same brain that also doesn’t see the need to buy clothing more often than once a year.
Really, though, ever since I moved in, I’ve “forgotten” about my single life. About how sad or emotional I’d become around the holidays…how ridiculously lonely it felt to watch TV with noone to make random comments to. The only time I remember what it’s like to be single is when I’m lying awake in bed, and I can’t fall asleep, because there’s someone next to me. A soft, cozy body pillow who happens to come with its own sleeping soundtrack. He keeps me awake at night, but at the same time, how nice it is to have someone to watch sleep if I have insomnia. Or someone who will instinctively snuggle closer to me if I turn.
Singlehood seems like ages ago. And I really don’t miss it.
Of course, it’s only been a few months. I heard about this whole seven-year itch thing….is that really true? Every once in a while, one of us will ask if we will get tired of each other. Despite my fiance’s analytic brain, when it comes to us, he is ever the optimist. We will always be just as caring with one another as we are now. Even after many years of marriage….and maybe kids…and frustrating years on the job… Doesn’t seem possible (I guess I’m the realist of the pair?), but his heart is in the right place, and that’s all that matters.