That is the time my husband decided to come to bed after staying up playing a computer game.
He’s done this before, much to my consternation and nagging. There have been times I’ve gotten so upset about it, I cried and couldn’t speak to him. It seems silly now, but as a newlywed, I have difficulty sleeping without him next to me, and I hate how it interrupts his sleep cycle.
I also don’t like him driving after staying up all night.
I also think this is one of those residual bachelor habits he refuses to give up.
So many logical reasons for him to come to bed at a decent hour.
But tomorrow is his birthday. I’m allowing it, because I know it’s a special day for him, and he doesn’t get a chance to play games a lot with his brother.
Lately, I’ve noticed my wifely duties have strayed more into motherly ones. Indeed, it’s a wife’s not-so-inside joke that taking care of your husband is practice for motherhood. Sometimes it’s hard describing things I do for him without it sounding like I’m referring to my child.
Oh, for instance, like the sentence, “I’m allowing it, because I know it’s a special day for him, and he doesn’t get a chance to play games a lot with his brother.”
*grins a smidge*
The problem with getting upset over that and other things such as being the primary person to cook and clean (even though I suck at both), is that it tends to skew my view of our marriage as something of a chore and not a relationship.
Yes, marriage is hard. Marriage is work. But I read a great blog recently on the importance of making an effort to focus on the positive.
It was tough not making this blog a rant. Like, really tough. But here are the takeaways:
1) No matter how much you gripe and nag, there will be things you cannot do to change your husband’s habits or desires. This has been said so many times, but I don’t think it sinks in enough.
2) Yes, the things that attracted you to your mate may be annoying now. I love the fact my husband’s a gamer, but it does get in the way of everyday life sometimes. But if you really give it some thought, take away those annoyances and one day you will start to miss them.
So, yes, even though he is snoring loudly in the next room after a night of gaming, as soon as I wake him, he will be sleepily ready for a good afternoon kiss. (Yep, anticipating a late start to the day, obviously.)
I will get to celebrate his birthday later today with our parents and friends. Giggle. Reminisce. Be playful. Just like newlyweds do.
And for those moments, I will always be grateful.