The phrase “whiny troll” keeps smacking me in the face. It doesn’t happen very often, but I come across people who completely misinterpret things I say and hate me.
This, however, feels different. Harder to take, somehow.
I was formerly part of a blogging group and, unfortunately, could only contribute once a month to it.
As a professional blogger and freelance writer (who is also an administrative assistant), you wish you could write all the time for everyone, but it simply wasn’t feasible.
When I did get to write for them, I absolutely loved it! My posts got tons of shares, and I felt like I was contributing to a great community.
Unfortunately, the leader of said group didn’t think so. When I asked a question in the community group about why my posts got a lot of shares but no comments, apparently I was “complaining.”
When I explained to people (after being confused myself) that a Google Hangout On Air doesn’t involve actually being a part of the live web chat, I apparently said I was being “misled.”
The word was written to me using quotation marks just like that. Some heavy words, there.
None of which were actually true.
The truth of the matter is that for the past couple of months, this person had been sending me very terse, sarcastic and often annoyed-sounding e-mails. I hadn’t the foggiest idea why.
I had a string of these from others lately, and I was really tired of it.
So I created a blog for this very group about e-mail etiquette. It was originally titled to fit a theme that the group was doing.
Not long after I sent this post in, it was announced that those who weren’t “full members” (those who posted blogs twice a month or more) would no longer be able to post discussions.
I knew deep down this was a way to get me to stop posting, but there was nothing I could do. In keeping with my love for e-mail etiquette, I sent the leader a very gracious email saying I will no longer blog for the group. I was sad about it, but I knew it had to be done.
Of course, I get the same terseness in response. I also was promptly un-followed on Twitter.
So I asked to be unsubscribed from group postings and published the blog on my own site.
And added a bitch cake.
It was something I would have loved to have done on their site, but, again, politeness on my end reigns.
This obviously drew the ire of the person I had been communicating with, who proclaimed she is “damn proud” of being a bitch and blah, blah, blah, you complain, you were whiny, you were trolling – all that.
She also removed my previous blog posts, so those awesome shares now lead to a blank page.
She wrote all of these horrible things. To me. In a long, ranty e-mail. And, in response to my blog, she told me that, of course, she would say all of these things to my face.
Because, obviously, that makes it better.
Funny thing is – I never called her a bitch. Not in the blog. Not in e-mail. I didn’t even use her name or organization.
The posting was about staying polite in email and in social media.
And, yet, here this person was saying outright untruths and name calling after reading this same blog post.
The things I learned this week:
1) No matter how nice you are, not every one will like you. They won’t learn their lesson. In fact, people may like you better when you are sarcastic and ornery. Obviously, as this person still has lots of fans, even when I explained to people what had happened.
2) Even online business relationships hurt when they are broken. But, as I blogged this week in Brazen Careerist, I’m learning from my mistakes. I am staying in touch with all of the bloggers in the group as best as I can. Obviously, I won’t do any public name calling.
But if anyone ever asks me who not to recommend online? Well, now I have someone to add to that very short list.
And by short, I mean there’s, like, two people on it.
(By the way, this is why you never, ever anger a blogger or say nasty things in e-mail, because they are there. Forever.)
Unlike the lovely “Bloggess,” I can’t get away with quoting entire e-mails and naming names. She’s got the clout (and the cajones) and I don’t. Ugh. Guess that’s just me being polite again.