Give Yourself Permission to Fail in 2014

This was originally posted Dec. 30th, 2013 on My Freelance So of course, Bluehost goes down, right after I managed to double-post it.

how you respond to failure


(Or…”How I Spent My Unintentional Christmas Vacation.”)

Give Yourself Permission

To be slow to forgive…but only for a moment

To be angry…but without hurting yourself or anyone else

To be transparent and honest…with only some regard to the consequences

To fail…with resolve to succeed the next time you get up

I can’t remember what spurred me to write that. It has been sitting in my EverNote for several weeks. All I do know is I intended this for my personal blog and not for my business one.

So why did it end up here?

Because my personal and professional readers deserve to learn how to fail, the right way, for 2014.

For the past month, I’ve allowed myself to wallow. For someone like myself who regularly suffers from anxiety and depression, this is an extremely dangerous habit.

Wallowing means not moving forward. Wallow implies mud. Muck. Stagnation. It doesn’t mean digging in and standing your ground. No. It’s covering up and hiding.

It’s putting yourself behind enemy lines, when the enemy on the other side of the field is really just a negative version of yourself. The field is littered with those circumstances beyond your control, and instead of getting up and walking forward to finish off your enemy, you sit. Entrenched. Weaponless.

Greatly impacting negative circumstances put myself in a position of wallowing, and I allowed myself to be there. Because instead of constantly worrying about the enemy and the explosive mines that lay before I reached her, I celebrated.

Liken me to the lonely soldier who enjoys a good drag on a cigarette or gleefully pulls out old photos from home to reminisce.

Ever been there? Ever just sat down with worries, real and imagined, encircling you and you just stay?

In order to prepare for the New Year, I did something crazy.

Nothing much at all.

I recently purchased Amber McCue‘s Planathon workbook, dedicated to reading a beta copy of a book, had a couple of writing assignments and I had some follow-up appointments. Two of my clients were gone. Other than some light editing and blog posting for a client that I do weekly, I’ve spent my days doing very little else business-related.

It allowed me a lot more mental and emotional space for my husband and time to spend with family over the holidays. Nonetheless, I did start to feel bad about the state of my business. I wasn’t even looking for work outside of my job.

Then I remembered I had to give myself permission to take a break. Even if things fall by the wayside for a while.

What was great about the Planathon is it allowed me to handle some goal-setting for my business and look back on some of the accomplishments I’ve achieved. It was extremely satisfying and fulfilling. I can’t wait to dig in even further.

So my goals for 2014 are yet to be defined: I do have two e-books in the works, a potential services career shift, and (hopefully) making travel a bigger part of my business. But I’m also remembering to permit myself to fall down and not immediately get back up.

What are you allowing yourself to do in 2014 without judging yourself too harshly? Talk to me in the comments.

Photo: Some rights reserved by

3 thoughts on “Give Yourself Permission to Fail in 2014

  1. Whoa. This definitely hits a nerve for me. I pretty much went through exactly the same thing this Christmas, which was scary because I’d just booked my first client for 2014 and still have tons to do to set up my business. But yeah, sometimes we get stuck because we NEED a break. And being kind to ourselves while doing it is the only way to get out.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s